Crumbling Walls

in me i'm tearing
i'm breaking apart
how much of me
still remains in my heart
the walls are still breaking
they aren't standing up
they won't be forever
they'll soon fall apart
so i am still waiting
and when they are gone
i will then join them
with them i'll fall
nothing can keep me
or lock up my heart
i'd rather just
let myself fall apart
so now i am standing
and looking down
and i am just waiting
for these walls to come down
for when they are falling
i'll have to fly
and if i cannot
then at least i can die

Just...talking

I don't actually have any idea why I'm doing this. Writing when I have no real reason. It's some kind of instinct in me to write when there is nothing else to do. This picture is Hogwarts castle but I don't think it looks much like it although it certainly is. I wonder why they designed a castle like Hogwarts; I mean, it seems strange that they didn't just go ahead and design it like any other school, wouldn't that not be as weird? Weren't they TRYING to be low key? Sorry, when I see something that doesn't make sense I obsess over it for the next ten seconds. Not enough time that anyone notices but long enough for me to realize what I'm doing. Aren't I weird? Just in general I mean. *sigh* I guess most people reading this probably don't know me well enough to say but then again I'm sure my friends will end up making a comment on it sometime even if it's not online. What great friends they are. ^_^ You know, most of my friends are quite different from each other. My friends are generally either the perverted smart geek type or the perverted punk/goth/emo type...wait...we're high schoolers so we're all perverted in some way... ^_^ But it's kind of strange, then again, my most homophobic friend found out I was bi and know she has gone from nice sweet friend who needs to be protected to the mean spiteful girl who is defending me half the time; i didn't even know she could change like that so fast. hahahahaha! guess there's always a way to find who your real friends are. I love my friends, all of them, and I'm glad they're standing by me, cause God knows my mom's not.

Save Me

I show you my wrists
The cuts made long scars
I’m hoping you’ll save me
But I know that you won’t

I draw out my knife
Beginning again
Cuts getting deeper
‘Cause I’d hate to live

You’re saying I’m fine
I know that you’re wrong
These cuts that I’m making
Have been here all along

Though you can’t see it
They are bleeding still
Deep in my heart
I swear the pain’s real

I’m hoping you’ll save me
As you walk away
The next time we meet
I’ll be the one in the grave

How to read my color coding

red is ranting
blue is sad
green if informative
rainbow is gay/bi pride
purple is happy
white is a story therefore i cannot reveal the mood

if anything else comes up i'll let you know. thanks guys! ^_^

Congratulations

Happy days
Congratulations
Moving on
And going places
Friendly smiles
From all you see
Only friends
Surrounding thee
Smiling people
Laughing times
So happy
Not a cloud in sight
Staying together
Not growing apart
Speaking with people
Building up hearts
Now we are here
And happily yes
We'll be here tomorrow
At least that's my guess

Randomness From Me (like always)

I'M JUST GONNA TALK ABOUT RANDOM STUFF HERE SO YOU CAN SKIP IT IF YOU LIKE, REALLY, RANDOM BLOGGING ISN'T ALWAYS INTERESTING WHEN IT'S MINE.

I really enjoy writing, infact i'm pretty sure that's going to be my job when i grow up. /yeah, yeah, i know i'm already 15 and there is no magic age when you're finally grown up. i get that, now get off my back and let me say whatever weird stuff i want to say./ writing has always been fun for me, something i do when i get bored, same thing with reading which is why i don't see why people don't like reading. you do it everyday anyway, why not at least enjoy it? a lot of people who say they hate reading seem like it's some kind of rule to them...guess what??? IT'S THE STUPIDIEST RULE I'VE EVER HEARD OF. what kind of rule is that really? anyway, moving on... i write a ton of poetry, but that's the least read writing form, which is hilarious when you consider that song lyrics (also poetry) are the most read form of writing. so you know what i decided??? come on, it's too easy. i'm going to start writing poetry in lyric format and try to get it sold and made into songs! say hello to instant advertising! ^_^ short stories are the second least read form of writing and after that i don't know the order they go in. i mainly write short stories because they're easier to finish but if you work at it you can always expand them into books so i'll try that and i'm also thinking of writing some information books. i have interests in things like the supernatural, GLBT community, teenagers, physcology, and medicine, so i've already done a lot of research on those subjects, it would be great if i finally USED the information wouldn't it? so i think that's what i'll do.

THANKS FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO TOOK THE TIME TO LISTEN TO MY RANDOM IDEAS AND STUFF AND I HOPE TO BE ABLE TO PRODUCE SOMETHING NEW AND GREAT FOR YOU SOON. ^_^

Soul Saving

I'm holding myself
Inside of my heart
Begging myself
To not break apart
I'm wrapping my arms
As tight as I can
Praying to god
Let me stay in this land
I am now waiting
My heart breaks apart
And silence is sealing
My love and my heart
But if it should win
Then my heart will be gone
I'm breaking right open
My breaking's not gone
I'm praying to god
Let me keep it together
Because I know
There's always bad weather
So please god I beg you
Please save my soul
I can't do it if
I'm left on my own